So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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