Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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