3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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