erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
