sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
