so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your penis caused this!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
