I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
soo... how was my night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
