You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
