the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
