Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
