I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
