hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
