Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
