ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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