There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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