If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we're making bets on your personal life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
