The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I am one with the molecules
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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