I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
