Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
