why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
