so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
