Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
