Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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