This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
