DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
