I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
