Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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