were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
