I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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