I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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