that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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