We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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