bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
