FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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