I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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