I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
