my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
