chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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