She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
