he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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