when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was CRYING into my vagina
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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