Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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