even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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