he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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