I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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