I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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