So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
