when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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