ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
