i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
